- My age:
- I am 49
- I can speak:
- What is my Sign of the zodiac:
- Body features:
- I'm quite plump
- Favourite drink:
- Favourite music:
- Easy listening
TOP with remaining ingredients.
When you rely on other people to help you do mostly everything, there are inevitably going to be some embarrassing situations that arise.
Damon albarn unofficial
Today was one of those days. Becca and I sat outside all afternoon getting tan, and I drank a can of Pepsi when it started to get unbearably hot.
By the way, I prefer Coke. When I only need to pee, I have this super-fancy, red urinal bottle that I pee into. I call it my pee-jar. This is how it works: someone gets me out of my chair, lays me down on a flat surface on my back, I whip my dick out, and relieve myself in the pee-jar.
Ok back to the story. I stupidly drank a Dr. Pepper with my potato bites.
We arrived at our house and I wheelchair-sprinted into my bedroom, yelling at Andrew to hurry. A few years ago, Andrew and I got over the awkwardness barrier of him helping me pee.
Whip it out
Today, Andrew got me all lined up and walked away to change the song that was playing on his laptop in the other room. A lot. It was one of those glorious moments when everything important in life just faded into nothing and all of my existence became focused on the amazing feeling of my bladder shrinking. Suddenly, the jar became too full, and just as I had expected, started to tip.
Whip it out
The opening of the jar had passed the point of no return and a disgusting amount of warm piss was running down my… ermmm… thigh, forming a puddle beneath my hips. My brother ran in and immediately doubled over from laughter.
I began laughing too, pretty much uncontrollably. I was lying in a puddle of my own urine. Then it got gross, and while we continued to laugh uncontrollably I had to quickly tell him to go get towels to start cleaning everything up.
I obviously had to change my boxers and shorts, but somehow my fucking shirt got wet too. Oh and I ruined my memory-foam bed cover. Source laughingatmynightmare Tags LOL gross pee.